You know you live in Washington State:

If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time.  

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number.

If you measure distance in hours.   

If you have switched from 'Heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day. 
 
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Washington. 

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over two layers of clothes or under a raincoat.  

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice.   

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash. 

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee. 

If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.

If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Tullys. 

If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon. 

If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Abiqua, Issaquah, Snoqualmie, Wenatchee, Spokane, Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette.

If you consider swimming an indoor sport.
 
If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

If you buy new sunglasses every year because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time. 

If you buckle up no matter where you are.

God is Watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 

'Take only ONE . God is watching.' 

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. 

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'


Anatomy Lesson

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.' 

'Yes,' the class said. 

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?' 

A little fellow shouted, 
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

The Ten Commandments

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. 

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' 

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill."

Sherlock and Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: "and what do you deduce from that?"

Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it?s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."

And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

 


 

Login   Search   Site Map   Privacy Policy   Disclaimer